The Joke Thread!

Why are pirates called pirates ?

Spoiler:

whats the fastest drink in the world ?

Spoiler:

Whats the fastest desert in the world ?

Spoiler:

Pity the vixen, she lives with me....

Two Stoners Where Looking For Weed, The Only Problem Is They Can't Find It. After Thinking for a while one said "We should get onto The High Way"

Im starting to wonder if I insulted someone!

I got a death threat this morning.
(Im going to "smoke" you!)On a email message XD

Had to be a stoner.

And now, jokes I learned from Fallout 3.

"Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic."

"It is common knowledge that irradiated cats have 18 half-lives."

"Two cannibals were eating a clown, one says to the other 'Does this taste funny to you?'"

"Did you know the best contraceptive for old people is nudity?"

"I once visited a crematorium where they gave discounts to burn victims."

"A neutron walks into a bar and ask the bartender, 'How much for a drink?' To which the bartender replies, 'For you, no charge!'"

"I was going to a clairvoyance meeting but it was canceled due to unforeseen events."

There's more but I can't remember them off the top of my head.

What's green and white, and goes downhill at 100MPH?



...A Skiwi.

Which reminds me...

Nilo Kaal wrote:Which reminds me...

Oh yes, I remember that one. very touching vid

one day, a man marries a woman, they weren't the richest couple in the word, so the decided to spend their honeymoon at the husband's mother's house. The younger brother of the groom enjoyed building model air plains and the next day while working on one, he and the new couple were called down to breakfast -- only the little brother arrived. The little brother asked,
"did my brother come down already?".
"no", the mother responded.
"i bet i know why", the little brother suggested.
"i don't want to hear what you think, finish breakfast and go to school", the mother demeaned and set him away.
Lunch time came around and the little brother came home to eat, asking again,
"have they come down yet?".
again the mother responded,
"no".
"i bet i know why", the little brother spoke up again.
"i don't want to hear what you think, finish your lunch and go back to school", she demanded again and sent him back.
After school was out the little brother returned home, asking as soon as he stepped though the door,
"have they come down yet?".
And to no surprise to him, the mother responded,
"no".
"i bet i know wh-", the little brother was cut off suddenly by the mother.
"alright why, why do you think they aren't coming down".
a satisfied grin grew on the boy's face.
"well, last night my brother came into my room looking for Vaseline, and i think i accidentally gave him model airplane glue".

Here's one for people that play, or know a little about World of Warcraft.

What do you call a small group of resto (restoration) druids?

...A tree some.