Broken Plot Device

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Broken Plot Device

BPD readers & fans talking about stuff they like


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    Life: A Text-Based Adventure

    Teasealot
    Teasealot


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    Post by Teasealot Mon Feb 21, 2011 1:06 pm

    Pick up the wet cat food.
    Lord Grey II
    Lord Grey II


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    Post by Lord Grey II Mon Feb 21, 2011 1:56 pm

    Teasealot wrote:Pick up the wet cat food.

    I decide that it must be time to feed the cat. After all, he's been meowing at me for what, 12 posts now 20 minutes now? I reach to the top of the fridge where the cat food is and take down a can. Mmm, Savory Salmon Feast with gravy! Delicious.

    I now stand with with a can of wet cat food in one hand, food dish in the other, in the kitchen, the floor strewn with dry cat food. The front door is to the NORTH, and the living room is to the WEST.

    What do I do now?
    Teasealot
    Teasealot


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    Post by Teasealot Mon Feb 21, 2011 1:59 pm

    Put the wet food in the cat bowl, and feed the cat!!
    Lord Grey II
    Lord Grey II


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    Post by Lord Grey II Mon Feb 21, 2011 2:06 pm

    Teasealot wrote:Put the wet food in the cat bowl, and feed the cat!!

    Deftly, I pop open the can of wet cat food and serve roughly a third of the can into the food dish. The cat, wholly excited, winds around my legs, meowing incessantly. Finally, I place the food dish back on the cat's mat, and he zooms directly to the food, nomming with happy purrs. Hooray!

    I cover the can with the lid and place it in the fridge so it doesn't spoil, attract bugs, the cat can't get into it, etc, and close the fridge door successfully. I look around at the floor and think, "Man, someone will have to clean that up at some point. Eh..."

    I stand in the kitchen, feeling triumphant.

    What do I do now?

    +50xp! I've gained a level! I'm now a level 54 cat-feeder!
    SD
    SD


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    Post by SD Mon Feb 21, 2011 2:36 pm

    Clean up the dry cat food.
    Lord Grey II
    Lord Grey II


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    Post by Lord Grey II Mon Feb 21, 2011 4:09 pm

    SD wrote:Clean up the dry cat food.

    I spend the next hour picking up the dry cat food one at a time and throwing them away. Whew! There's got to be a better way to do this. Maybe next time I'll use a broom.

    I stand in my now clean kitchen.

    What do I do now?
    SD
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    Post by SD Mon Feb 21, 2011 8:30 pm

    Go back into the living room.
    Lord Grey II
    Lord Grey II


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    Post by Lord Grey II Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:00 pm

    SD wrote:Go back into the living room.

    My bedroom is to the SOUTH, the kitchen is to the EAST, and the front door to the apartment is to the NORTH-EAST. The living room is mostly dominated by the table, which is clean, at the moment. There is an ugly but comfortable red couch, which my roommate sleeps upon, situated across the room from the TV, which is mostly there for decoration, seeing as it's not plugged in or hooked up. To the west is my roommate's computer and computer desk, which is next to the litter box for the cat. The walls are decorated with tapestries of different colors and of pictures of creatures out of fantasy. There's a lot more objects, but I'd have to take a closer look to know what they all are.

    What do I do now?
    Blackwolf
    Blackwolf


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    Post by Blackwolf Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:26 pm

    Poke your roommate with your toothbrush
    Lord Grey II
    Lord Grey II


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    Post by Lord Grey II Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:35 pm

    Blackwolf wrote:Poke your roommate with your toothbrush

    Menacingly, I pull my toothbrush out of my pocket. It is still covered in cat fur, but no matter. I make a few silent practice jabs in the air. I grin evilly, preparing to administer the poke of a lifetime. I turn, and...!

    My roommate isn't here.

    Damn, I really wanted to poke him too. I wonder where he's at? Probably spent the night out with friends or something. Ah well...

    I stand in the living room, semi-crouched in a ready position, wielding my furred toothbrush.

    What do I do now?
    Teasealot
    Teasealot


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    Post by Teasealot Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:41 pm

    Go to the front door and open it without usin' your arms or legs (includes the hands and feet)
    Lord Grey II
    Lord Grey II


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    Post by Lord Grey II Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:55 pm

    Teasealot wrote:Go to the front door and open it without usin' your arms or legs (includes the hands and feet)

    I suddenly decide that I need to challenge myself. Aha! The front door! I shall open it without the use of my extremities or limbs! I stride over confidently.

    Now, I have an old fashioned knob, not a handle; I have to cause enough friction to turn the knob while still creating a pulling motion. With this in mind, I immediately press my hips and belly against the knob, vigorously wiggling back and forth, trying to find some purchase. I'm glad I'm alone, because I'm dead certain I look like I'm attempting to make sweet sweet love to my front door.

    To say nothing of the grunts I'm making.

    That doesn't seem to be working. Hmm.... I attempt to press my stomach against the knob and rotate my entire body. I succeed in turning the knob! However, I encounter two problems: first, I can't pull back with my stomach. Second, I can't stay in mid-air for very long before I fall down, negating the door-opening exercise. Also, I keep hurting myself on the fall. I whacked my arm pretty good, I think it's bruised now. I stand back to contemplate the front door. Hmm.... wait... wait... could it be? Yes, maybe... yes! That's it!

    The door is still locked.

    Well, this one is easily solved. Carefully, I bite the locking mechanism and turn my head, unlocking the door with a clunk that reverberates through my teeth. Hey, maybe I can do the same with the knob! It take me a bit to wrap my mouth around; I can fit my fist in my mouth, but metal is less yielding and more tooth-chipping. Eventually, I get a whole bunch of slobber on the door and floor, but I gratingly open the door! Hurray!

    With my front door open, I stand triumphantly, wiping the drool off my chin. I can see out into the stairwell/common area.

    What do I do now?

    -2 health, +1 Self Esteem
    Teasealot
    Teasealot


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    Post by Teasealot Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:13 pm

    Head down the stairs.
    Lord Grey II
    Lord Grey II


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    Post by Lord Grey II Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:26 pm

    Teasealot wrote:Head down the stairs.

    I depart from my apartment, leaving the front door wide open, heading down the stairs. I now stand on the ground floor. There are four doors here, two on each the NORTH and SOUTH walls; presumably, they lead to other people's apartments. To the EAST is a parking lot. To the WEST is the parking lot that contains my car.

    There is a man here, smoking a cigarette. I think I've seen him before on the way back and forth from the parking lot to my apartment. He's larger than me, both in height and definitely in width.

    What do I do now?
    SD
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    Post by SD Mon Feb 21, 2011 11:23 pm

    Ask the man how his day has been so far.
    Lord Grey II
    Lord Grey II


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    Post by Lord Grey II Tue Feb 22, 2011 8:17 am

    SD wrote:Ask the man how his day has been so far.

    In an effort to be polite, and not threaten a stranger while holding a toothbrush and smelling strongly of cat food, I wave and say, "Oh hello good sir! How are you on this fine morning? How has your day been so far?" I give him my best smile.

    He just stares at me for a moment. "Uh... hi. Fine."

    I stand there, feeling like a complete dork.

    What do I do now?

    -1 Self Esteem
    Blackwolf
    Blackwolf


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    Post by Blackwolf Tue Feb 22, 2011 8:49 am

    Close your door and head towards your car
    Lord Grey II
    Lord Grey II


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    Post by Lord Grey II Tue Feb 22, 2011 3:22 pm

    Blackwolf wrote:Close your door and head towards your car

    I sprint back up the stairs and shut my front door, preventing my cat, who was eyeing the outdoors, from getting out. Without bothering to lock it, I sprint back down the stairs, and out into the parking lot.

    The parking lot has a few cars in it; most importantly, my own. To the EAST is the stairwell leading back to my apartment. To the SOUTH is the laundry room and swimming pool. To the NORTH is more apartments. To the WEST is the road leading out of my apartment complex.

    What do I do now?

    Inventory: Fur-filled toothbrush
    Teasealot
    Teasealot


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    Post by Teasealot Tue Feb 22, 2011 3:33 pm

    Climb onto your car and roar triumphantly, "I am a Level 54 Cat feeder!!! And you're not!!"
    Lord Grey II
    Lord Grey II


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    Post by Lord Grey II Tue Feb 22, 2011 3:41 pm

    Teasealot wrote:Climb onto your car and roar triumphantly, "I am a Level 54 Cat feeder!!! And you're not!!"

    I take a running leap and clamber up onto my car, denting the hood in the process. I strike a triumphant, victorious, wholly confident pose, balling both my hands into fist, gesturing to the heavens. I laugh maniacally and shout, positively roaring into the morning air...

    I AM A LEVEL 54 CAT FEEDER! AND YOU LOT.... you lot.... YOU ARE ALL NOT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

    As I stand there, my toothbrush waving wildly with my fists, I can see some of my neighbors peeking out through their drapes and blinds and what-have-you at me, but it matters not. I am flush with victory and exhilaration. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see the man that was smoking a cigarette before apparently filming me with his phone. Doing something with his phone, anyways.

    What do I do now?
    Blackwolf
    Blackwolf


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    Post by Blackwolf Tue Feb 22, 2011 4:50 pm

    Get into your trusty car and swith the radio on
    Lord Grey II
    Lord Grey II


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    Post by Lord Grey II Tue Feb 22, 2011 4:57 pm

    Blackwolf wrote:Get into your trusty car and swith the radio on

    I jump down to the ground and pull on the car door. And pull on it again. And again. Hrm, I locked my car. Damn. Now people are really looking at me oddly.

    The man with the phone says, "Hey buddy... are you alright?"

    What do I do now?
    Teasealot
    Teasealot


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    Post by Teasealot Tue Feb 22, 2011 5:16 pm

    Point towards a random bush, and say that there's a hidden camera in there then unlock your car and get in.
    Lord Grey II
    Lord Grey II


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    Post by Lord Grey II Tue Feb 22, 2011 5:27 pm

    Teasealot wrote:Point towards a random bush, and say that there's a hidden camera in there then unlock your car and get in.

    I sweep my hand dramatically through the air, pointing at a nearby bush. Conspiratorially, I lean a little closer (despite the guy being a good 15 feet away from me) and say, "There's a hidden camera in there." I nod sagely and return my attention to the car door, which remains locked. I attempt to unlock it with my toothbrush with little success. I tug on my car door handle a couple more times to make sure, and conclude that it is still locked. I could go get my car keys, I suppose, but that would be too easy, wouldn't it?

    Behind me, the guy is backing away slowly.

    What do I do now?
    Teasealot
    Teasealot


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    Post by Teasealot Tue Feb 22, 2011 5:29 pm

    Go get your car keys.

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